Unknown future

Dear you,

After getting promotion on 1 July 2016 and becoming a Senior Auditor, i was worried.

I try to ask myself, why i being worried about this status a lot and here i come up with some challenges i expect to meet in the next 12 months which concern me.

  • I know how its feel like to be an In-charge because i have gone through this since i was A1. The hard fact now is that, i may in charge bigger engagement and i need to deal a lot with managers and if little things go wrong, i will be blamed. It is inevitable things.
    • Solution: Have a good preparation and learn those i lack off. Be confident with my task and grab all information in my hand.
  • Another thing that concern me is that how can i make good use of my assistant. Its pretty tough to have bad assistant and it is tougher to have good ones but do not know how to direct them so that the whole team gain an efficient results.
    • Solution: If i can asked for two assistant, i will ask one for smart and one for work hard. Those smart mostly not wanting to do a repeat task, a vouching, or anything that use most of the physical strengths. A combination of both would give a synergy, but i hope i make the right decision. A long the way i know i will learn.
  • i quite insecure about my ability even though i know i am very good at technical skills. I tend to feel no confidence in things i am doing. I tend to feel management team expect higher from me. All of these things really stress me out.
    • Solutions: I can only give them the best i can give. If those will not meeting their expectations, i will also satisfy with what i have done. Another thing i learn from my failure friend is that, we cannot sit waiting for a miracle to happen, all we need to do is get up and fight.

Everyday i get up and tell myself that today is better than yesterday. Actually it doesn’t mean yesterday is a bad day for me at all, i just cannot figure it out what exactly i want in a day that i am living.

I have my plans and i keep working on it. I go and cross a calendar everyday like i really waiting for something in the future. I know something has to happen in there but i do not know for sure.

My ACCA exam result will be released on 18th July, and the result will determine my succeed in my plans.

I tend to wait for the Peak Season, this is sound so stupid. However, i just want to throw myself in that period again and see if i am making the right decision to stay. All will be revealed after the Peak Season in 2017 and i am sure i will stay until that time.

I write to you just because i do not know how and who to share my concern with. I am living in the world that exist mainly those who want to know about my weaknesses and take benefit of it. Therefore, i rarely share what i want to share. I appeal strong but i know i am weak. Who ever reading this, please advise me.