Unknown future

Dear you,

After getting promotion on 1 July 2016 and becoming a Senior Auditor, i was worried.

I try to ask myself, why i being worried about this status a lot and here i come up with some challenges i expect to meet in the next 12 months which concern me.

  • I know how its feel like to be an In-charge because i have gone through this since i was A1. The hard fact now is that, i may in charge bigger engagement and i need to deal a lot with managers and if little things go wrong, i will be blamed. It is inevitable things.
    • Solution: Have a good preparation and learn those i lack off. Be confident with my task and grab all information in my hand.
  • Another thing that concern me is that how can i make good use of my assistant. Its pretty tough to have bad assistant and it is tougher to have good ones but do not know how to direct them so that the whole team gain an efficient results.
    • Solution: If i can asked for two assistant, i will ask one for smart and one for work hard. Those smart mostly not wanting to do a repeat task, a vouching, or anything that use most of the physical strengths. A combination of both would give a synergy, but i hope i make the right decision. A long the way i know i will learn.
  • i quite insecure about my ability even though i know i am very good at technical skills. I tend to feel no confidence in things i am doing. I tend to feel management team expect higher from me. All of these things really stress me out.
    • Solutions: I can only give them the best i can give. If those will not meeting their expectations, i will also satisfy with what i have done. Another thing i learn from my failure friend is that, we cannot sit waiting for a miracle to happen, all we need to do is get up and fight.

Everyday i get up and tell myself that today is better than yesterday. Actually it doesn’t mean yesterday is a bad day for me at all, i just cannot figure it out what exactly i want in a day that i am living.

I have my plans and i keep working on it. I go and cross a calendar everyday like i really waiting for something in the future. I know something has to happen in there but i do not know for sure.

My ACCA exam result will be released on 18th July, and the result will determine my succeed in my plans.

I tend to wait for the Peak Season, this is sound so stupid. However, i just want to throw myself in that period again and see if i am making the right decision to stay. All will be revealed after the Peak Season in 2017 and i am sure i will stay until that time.

I write to you just because i do not know how and who to share my concern with. I am living in the world that exist mainly those who want to know about my weaknesses and take benefit of it. Therefore, i rarely share what i want to share. I appeal strong but i know i am weak. Who ever reading this, please advise me.

Sincerely,

Unknown future

There is not much to tell about me, my life is just so simple, its goes around and fall within three things- work, family and friends.

Work: I am an Auditor. Every working day, I need to wake up at 7:00 AM, pick up my preferred working suit and leave. Sometimes, I will drop by and have a breakfast, yes alone. Doing things alone is not a scary thing anymore. It is so-called independence. My favorite part in the morning is i am able to have breakfast with anyone, maybe friends, new friends, cousin, team mate, or family. These little thing in the morning complete my day. In the afternoon, i love coming back home and having lunch with my family. Honestly, i do hate packing my lunch, but sometimes i have no choices. Eating out with team mate is the best feeling only if you have a good team and we are getting on well and we like the same style. In the evening, i love leaving and getting home when the sky is still a-day-sky. Exceptionally, i love celebrating a Friday night with my beloved friends and that mostly occurs at the beginning of the month when salary is credited.

Ok, back to my working detailed!

Auditor is a very professional job. People give value to Auditor not because they see us giving value service to them but because they scare of us. Why?

They scare we eventually find their mistakes even if sometimes they have no mistake at all. Do not ask me why, this is what i perceive from my customers.

Everyday, i do afraid people give less value to Auditor. That does not mean i claim a value from them, but without adequate knowledge about what exactly an Auditor do, others may think us in a wrong way. I see some Auditors do not even act as they are ones, that is why public will assume we are nothing at all. It’s just one year and a half of working, i realize how importance the staff presentation is. Staff represents the whole firm and if firm recruit bad staff, firm sabotage its own reputation. Then, i start to realize one more thing, Human Resources Department is the core value in each firm.

You see??? How getting off from your comfort zone help enrich your knowledge. It is just like an-eyes-opened to every corner of life. I am working not because i need money. My underlying reason is to experience life. I meet so many different kinds of people during these few years, i learn about each of them, i scan through their behaviors, their attitudes and their mindset. It quite interesting because when we focus on these things, we know more about people and we learn to adapt ourselves in wherever we go and whoever we with. I have a very good observation skills but i never judge people. I do not judge!

I also learn to involve with strangers and join in any event that i am not comfortable with. After that, i feel good because i have done something that i do not like. I like to push myself out and explore something new.

I do not afraid to be the first speaker toward strangers and i have never scared to be the first to smile to others even if they are not smiling back. I have learned that to be a truly peaceful person and a happy ones, we only need to focus on what we are doing toward others that make our inside feeling satisfy, not to care about the response that others may have on us (I am talking about good things).

Work teaches us a lot. if you are a rich child and want to discover what is there in life and society, babies, you need to work.

Family: One phrase that i have always said, ” I have a good family”.

We are not rich nor poor, we are just happy with what we have. That’s not true? People are ambitious and they are never enough!!! Oh no, we keep our adequate to the minimum. We are enough!

My parents are feeling enough to fulfill their responsibility as a parent. My mum is full of skills in teaching her children. I have got a lot of great advice that no one ever given to me before. She is so rich in knowledge and she has a good heart. My dad is doing his own business and never cheated in anyone. He is famous in his own industry for his knowledge, smart and kind. He have brought up this family by his own sweats and tears. Imagine he is alone can feed four of his children and his wife prosperously. He is an amazing dad. My big brother though very damaged but has always listen well to my mum and eventually he is now mature enough to study abroad alone and bring back success to us. My sister is so great and no one could ever be compared to. She has a kind heart, a nice smile, smart and so much beautify. She has the full package, that is why i see no one else as beautify as her. My little brother is eight years younger than me. He is tall, very handsome and very smart. He is a gift to our family. I am not lying, i have enough!

Friends: I am so thankful that you have walked into my life. Without you, i may be very lonely. I knew her since grade 7. I remembered so well about her first impression. When i walked into the class i was struggled finding the seat because it was full of students then suddenly i heard a call from the distance asking me to join her. What a lovely human being! After that, we have become a real best friend. I also have another group of friends at Private high school whom i named as Panters. later on, i have known another group at University, we were so close but after graduated we almost broke up. We did hang out sometimes, but due to some are working even in the weekend, our times is so limited. These days, those i hang out a lot with are my team mate, one is a man and another is a woman. She is someone i have known at accounting school and fortunately we apply to work at the same place together. A man is someone like a brother, very take care, very kind, very helpful. Those who i mentioned are the best people that once have walked into my life. I am not guarantee at all how long they will stay, but i am sure, i will always stay.

Hmmmm—

What else you want to know? My vision? My future plan or my type of a guy that i will be dated?

One thing that always exist in my head is to travel to different places around the world. Traveling has been pinned in my thought and i could not travel without any money, that is why, i sometimes doubt that this can be an importance reason i strive for the financial resources. I do want to run my own business, but frankly speaking, i cannot think of ones. Maybe, it is yet the right time or maybe i was born not the be a businesswoman. Whatever reason it is, 70% of me, I believe in fate and the rest is my own hard work.

And one last thing, the person i am going to date with is the one who has a higher knowledge than me and who physically tall, white and has a sense of humor.

Simple right? I am very simple! I make friends with everybody who want to be friends with me. Differences does exist everywhere in this planet, but as long as we know how to tolerate, we know how to live and we see the beautiful world does exist.

Life is hard, but life is simple when we make it simply.

What about you? Lets me know you, so we together can be a small piece of something beautiful.

Maliza,

2016- My new year resolutions

Today is the first day of the new year, I am feeling good at the moment when i heard that we will have a family gathering tonight at Hot-pot Phnom Penh Hotel before My Uncle Noo go back to Paris on 3rd.

My happiness begin and so i decide to write a new year resolutions today.

There are so many stuff i want to achieve this year including traveling, promotion, graduations and making new friends. Therefore, lets me list it down in detailed and hopefully this is the first and formal and committed resolution I have ever done.

1- At least within this year, i must be able to travel to new places. (I do plan to travel to Singapore with N, the plan is achievable for sure as we have already booked the flight tickets and the hotel). I promise after my traveling, i am going to write another story of my journey in Singapore.

2- Get promoted and become S2. I have no plan to resign at all from my current job because I still find this job so interesting and there are many things i have not learned. Though sometimes, i have to stay late at night or get up early in the morning or missing my family event or devoting my own holiday for the benefit of a team, i still love my job. Though sometimes, i have to face with many bad people, bad clients, bad team mates, i still love to deal with it. All in all, i just need to focus on what i am doing because i see the big picture.

3- Another big aim in 2016 is to finish ACCA. i still have 3 papers left (P1,P4 and P5) if i pass the two papers i took in December 2015. The result will be released on 18th jan and sure i will post my grade here again. By the way, if i wont pass that 2 papers which mean there are 5 papers left and which mean i must do whatever i can, try my very best to finish it in 2016.

4- Making new friends. I have known not so many people at all from the walks of my life. I have least best-friends but they are extremely the best people that i ever know. I do not claim for the replacement, but when i grow older i feel that networking is a need in this society. In order to have a good networking, we must learn to make friends. Friends can be anyone, anybody. The thing is, how can we make them a friend that we have what we can give for their benefits and they have what we miss out. This should let me to another point of resolution; communication.

5- Improve communication. This is always what i wish for since i was young. I hate being called- Mos Mos. I am actually improve a lot when i start working. My boss said i have good communication skill, yet i only good when it comes or relates to working. I was kind of poor in communicate with strangers, a friends. Therefore, i need to strengthen up my confidence when communicate with anybody. so 2016 will be the new beginning of the new me.

6- Keep blog updated. I have created this blog a long times ago but i do not have enough to courage to write and post and publish about my personal life. But here times come, i think privacy do not exist anymore in this information ages. You can happily read my notes, and i am happy to read yours. We share things, we give advice. I will update my blog at least once per month.

7- Improve English. After getting a job, i feel that my English become poorer. We do not use much English in working and even if we use it, it is just an English related to technical communication which i find very normal and nothing to improve. So, by this, i will plan to read at least 6 books for this new years but that would not help much so i think i will try to read news daily in English and start to write more to post in the blog about:

  • Know more about taxes in Cambodia
  • Basic Excel you should know to become a good auditor
  • My honest future plan i have always had in my head
  • How i realize school is important when i start to work
  • How technologies and social network break me and my family away
  • People that i know
  • My sister

These are all things that i can think of right now. Resolution is just a short term plan which is good but not the right way for us to live. In living, you need a goal, a real future plan which is very future. I will establish my long term goal and of course, i can’t wait to share with you all here.

Please enjoy!

Happy New year!

2015- A year full of lessons

  • January to March: After probation, I was so lucky enough to go to the engagement with an exchange In-charges from Vietnam who taught me a lot about my work.  I gained a double experience, working better and smarter than my peers. Those Vietnamese became my good friends, especially Chau who always care and the very best boss i have ever worked with.
  • April to June: I worked in one public project. It was a very nice experiences since I had got an opportunity to do the task that none of my peers had once touched. I stayed in that project for almost two months, I started to know my In-charge who used to be my performance manager. She is personally a very good and kind person, she is very organized and smart. I like her a lot, but i did doubt about what she think of me. It was a very good period as the engagement was quite near to my house and every morning my dad had a breakfast with me and dropped me off and in the evening my team and i were allowed to leave at 5:30 which is a miracle things for an Auditor like us.
  • May-June: A time when all of us need to do the performance evaluation. I chose 5 engagements which 4 were evaluated by Vietnamese. During these time, I had an argument with T, it was a pretty hard time because i also had an exam. This time argument, he ignore me for almost one month, the first time i ever felt that, he change. The time that breaking up is the only way.
  • July: We knew the result but yet things turn up-side down. The rate was first established making me feel very motivated, very satisfied, and later on, it just punched me at the face. Motivation going down to the bottom line. What is the point of working hard? However, i got promoted and my salary increased.
  • July-August: During this period, i was assigned to work at one giant bank in the country. Things were good at the first place but human ambitious made me realize that, a work place is a war place, people compete with each other to outshine one another. People can turn black to white, right to wrong, good to bad, truth to fake. This is a work place. I was never been this down before, i cried when i drove back home. Yes, at that point of time, i did feel i wanted to quit this job. Luckily, something has come into my thought, saying that if i quit, i am a loser. I need to prove those 3 people that, i am so better than what they think. i must make them recognize my work and this is not the end yet.
  • September-November: There was not much things happen, but i stared saving my money buy playing Tong-Tin with the workmates. It quite good choice because i am never good at saving. Oh, one more thing, i got a very surprise birthday preparation from my one and only sissy but i quite sad as my mum seem to not enjoy it. This is also the time that i could call T as an ex. A person does die! I move on!
  • December: Annual Party 18th, Christmas 23-25th. Two of my generations resigned. A party for the year ended is ahead. I did remembered how fresh i was when the annual party last year i was an MC. It quite embarrassing but this time MC did not do as good as the previous time of mine at all. I am not showing off! My celebration of Christmas was 3 days in a row. 23rd i went out with my workmates, NL and Nk who were the very best workmates i had at K. Nk was just like my brother, he took care of me and NL just as we are his girlfriends. NL, a selfish lady but so helpful, is the one i always love to be with. 24th i went with Tony, a friend whom i knew at ACE. he is 2 years younger than me but quite mature and love to have fun. he brought me to new pub and i thought it was like a prostitute house. 25th i went with Panters and my very best friend SD. I did feel distance from Panters yet i could not help, it is a friendship trend. SD, the real one, the innocent one, the one that has never changed.

These are all the experiences, making me a mature ones. I feel different than before, i do not care much about outside world and the eyes of others anymore. Life is too short, do not waste time pleasing the others.